Q: In dream, I do not see myself in mirror and I do not have the waking consciousness. Then how do I know after getting up that it was me in the dream?
A: In fact during the waking state also, without seeing yourself in the mirror, you know about your existence. Just like mind identifies with the physical body during waking state, it identifies with a character in the dream. Since, it is the same mind, this false dream character and the waking character appear to be associated with the same I. It is true that in dream state, you do not have waking consciousness. However, the unconscious mind is the same. So, actually it is the unconscious mind that holds the key to connecting the two. Going a step beyond, various roles are played by the consciousness. The real I is consciousness, pseudo Is can be associated with body, mind etc. Since, consciousness is the same, real I is the same. Life is like a Bollywood movie with one actor (consciousness) playing double roles (body & mind).
When Ramana Maharshi was a school boy, one day, suddenly fear of death occurred to him for no reason. Thoughts like dying means the legs become stiff; lips become taut; eyes get closed, breath stops etc. came to him and due to the intensity of the feeling, the legs became stiff, lips became taut, eyes got closed and breath stopped*. But, still he could sense the vigour of the I-thought. The strong presence of individual consciousness was clear. So, while the body was dead – insentient – I sense still had a strong presence. Therefore, I sense was independent of the body. So, he was separate from the body, he thought. At that time Ramana Maharshi thought that he was under the control of some spirit, but this experience probably gave rise to Akhandakara Vritti (unbroken thought wave) as mind became focused towards the source for prolonged period and the Self Inquiry continued. In due course of time he was able to see# that the I sense was originating from pure awareness. So, this meant that he was pure awareness from where I thought was arising. In other words, he realised that he was non-individual pure awareness from where individual consciousness was coming.
*There is no mention of heart-beat here. However, since it was a real experience, it happened spontaneously rather than forming a logical sequential chain. It comes close to NDE + Self Inquiry. It is just that the description looks like a logical sequential chain.
#I sense cannot be the absolute truth because I sense is not there in deep sleep but there is existence of the person in deep sleep. Here is a quote from Upadesha Saram:
It is this existence which is the permanent reality
For even in deep sleep
Where we have no present sense of I
We do not cease to be
The above reasoning helps, but one can know this by direct experience also (when mind is Sattvic, that is when it has very less thoughts) that I sense is originating from the field of awareness. In Arunachala Ashtakam verse two Ramana Maharshi writes, “Enquiring within ‘Who is the seer?’ I saw the seer disappear, leaving that alone which stands forever”. Thanks to Sri David Godman for mentioning the point about Arunachala Ashtakam.
The word heart has come quite a few times in Ramana Maharshi’s, “Who Am I?” as mentioned in the quotes below:
“If one inquires as to where in the body the thought ‘I’ rises first, one would discover that it rises in the heart.”
“When the mind that is subtle goes out through the brain and the senseorgans, the gross names and forms appear; when it stays in the heart, the names and forms disappear. Not letting the mind go out, but retaining it in the Heart is what is called “inwardness” (antarmukha). Letting the mind go out of the Heart is known as “externalisation” (bahir-mukha). Thus, when the mind stays in the Heart, the ‘I’ which is the source of all thoughts will go, and the Self which ever exists will shine.”
Heart here does not mean the physical heart – a body organ. Heart here means centre, the source i.e. the field of consciousness/awareness or Self. When you say I, try to notice its source. It originates from pure consciousness. This is the basic idea behind the importance of I thought emphasised by Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj. When you take breath and notice its origin, you tend to reach the very same source, i.e. pure consciousness which is like a field.
